He just hoped she hadn’t noticed the insecure change. He took the lid off the peroxide and glanced up at her. This time she felt herself blushing. Even though she had known Derek for awhile, she had always had a soft spot for a man?s eyes and felt vulnerable when staring into his on the occasion their eyes crossed paths. Derek blotted her cut with a cotton ball soaked in the medicine, and was halfway expecting to feel her wince with the bubbling burn. The fact that she didn’t was somewhat disturbing. He wondered why suicidals could block pain, and had figured it was because they were always in pain with their mind, so much they didn’t notice anything else, but were only mesmerized by it. This type of thing only made him want to reach out for her all the more. He couldn’t stand her being so sad and lost. Her mind was in fact elsewhere. She was remembering those warm afternoons at the beach and would wish to be out in the sun again, but truly wanted nothing more but to hold him.. I say, ‘kind of lazy’ because I often go to a lot of trouble and effort to take the easy way out and do the least actual work. It’s just who I am. I’ve been told a lot that it would be easier to just do things, than to put so much effort into avoiding doing things.We met a year ago. EI was at the homeless shelter, lined up for a free meal. I’d take the meal but had long since learned that taking a bed was too much effort. The people who run homeless shelters want you to be there at a certain time, answer a bunch of stupid questions and generally pretend that being homeless is the worst situation a person can possibly be in.When I used to tell them I was homeless because work sucks, they refused to believe me. I’d end up having to answer a thousand extra questions and that was way too much effort. A piece of advice that I’ll give for free, is never tell a homeless shelter that you like being homeless.Other than that, they want you to take showers and change clothes occasionally as.
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